It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
