I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
