you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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