What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
