your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
