guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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