last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
