Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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