Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
