Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
