I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize