I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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