just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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