I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
