I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
