Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize