he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
