I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
