Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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