somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My penis needs a shock collar
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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