did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
