tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize