I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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