Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
