But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
