Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
