I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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