That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize