i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize