and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
