i was born a porn star she said
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
