K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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