Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
