I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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