I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
