let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize