Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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