Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
