The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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