i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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