he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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