I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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