he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize