I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
