I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
