1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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