Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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