there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
