My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Green mimosas i think yes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
