I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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