there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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