I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
