Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
