Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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