Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
