if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize