I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
